Friday, October 25, 2013

The Question I Get the Most Often...

The question posed to me most often by friends and family members back home is "But don't the French hate Americans?" This is of course usually followed by some of anecdote of how they went to Paris one time and xyz happened and no one would help them/no one spoke English/they were so rude. I would immediately like to point out that Paris is not France. Paris is to France what New York is to the US. It's a LARGE city, with a faster pace. And I guarantee that if you stopped someone in NYC to ask for directions during rush hour or while they are trying to get to work, they're going to tell you to "PISS OFF!" If you can't move with the flow of a large city, you better get out of the way. Oh, there is no doubt New Yorkers, Parisians, Berliners, Milanese want you to fall in love with their cities, they just want you to quickly acclimate to their culture. That's normal. And four or five times out of ten, the people who ask me this question are the same people who get infuriated if someone speaks Spanish in the US.

The first thing you have to accept about another culture is that it's not going to be like America, nor should it be because that's what makes it so special. If you can't handle this, or you have a persecution complex that thinks the rest of the world is out to get America...you better stay IN America. But if you are curious about the world and have an open mind to understand people better, then I would recommend taking the following steps.


Learn the language. Or at least to very politely say, "I'm sorry I don't speak the language. Can you speak English?" I don't recommend learning phrases asking for directions or for certain types of help, because what good is it if you can ask the question but not understand the answers. Do as MUCH research as you can prior to going.


Don't be defensive about being American. Don't advertise it or flaunt it, but it is a small minority who are ready to kill you for it. Just don't be defensive. I assure you, most people don't give two hoots where you are from. American culture is EVERYWHERE. There are plenty of McDonalds and Starbucks in France. You can't turn on a radio station without hearing Blurred Lines or the new Miley Cyrus song. Even an overwhelming majority of French artists sing in English (Pheonix, anyone?) It's okay to be American. Just be cool, gang. It's okay to use that to poke fun at yourself. Just don't use it as an excuse to try to bend the culture to your way of thinking. That's not why you are here.


I have such a great affection for the French. I have had an occasional run in with a rude person, but I have dealt with rude people in Kentucky. There are rude people everywhere you go. That's life. But what you must realize is a person's rudeness has absolutely NOTHING to do with you. I learned that very quickly working retail and the best way to deal with that in any language is smile and to brush it off and tell them to have a blessed day. But never have I ever been so welcomed. When I struggle with saying something they help me find the words. The teachers at my school have taken me to dinner and offered to help me with complex things such as setting up a bank account. My land lady went out of her way to help me with a red tape problem at immigration. Even today, at a small family run restaurant in Gap, I conversed with a family who was curious about my life in the states. We talked for a while, but just getting over a cold, I had to excuse myself to go blow my nose several times. The mother asked if I had been sick and I responded that I had. Before I knew it, she came out of the kitchen with hot water and a peppermint liquor to help ease the symptoms. I sat and chatted with them for an hour over the economy, politics, sports in the area, and about food. When I received my bill, not only had they given me a discount on the food, they had not charged me for the coffee or the aperetif I had. This couldn't have been easy for them, seeing as times are hard and I was the only customer in the store, but it had been a way to say "Thank you for the camaraderie." When I have been lost or had trouble, people have always rushed to help me. There are good people here. I hope you can find that out for yourself someday.

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