Explaining Kentucky to the French.

I heard the absolute worst/best song last night. It was more appropriate thematically than it was appropriate musically. The song was called The Fox (What Does The Fox Say?) by a group called Ylvis. The song is the basic onomatopoeic sounds that we associate with animals, and given the fox's naturally secret nature, there is some room for interpretation as to what the fox says. (Although, Ylvis, I don't think *Ring-a-ding-ding-a-ding* has ever been uttered by a fox in the history of fox linguistics)


Here. Watch it for yourself.


As Ylvis sang about speaking to horses in morse code, I sat thinking of how to explain my beautiful home state of Kentucky to a group of children, most of whom have probably never ventured out of Europe. I knew that given my age range of 6-10, my topic of conversation would be extremely limited. I could probably use the following lesson plan:


Good Morning Children. I am from Kentucky! Kentucky is a state.



George Clooney is from Kentucky. (Yeah! You're welcome world!)

So is Jennifer Lawrence!

We make DISCO BALLS! (Hell YES!)

You like horses, kids! We have horses!!!

Oh, and you like Cheeseburgers? Well, you better say "Thank you, Kentucky." Because even though somewhere in the world someone more than likely had already put cheese on a hamburger, we decided to lay claim to it. And that children, is all about American ingenuity. Take credit for someone else's idea and pass it off as your own. Edison did it. So did Bell. And they got buildings and corporations named after them!!!

And you should wash that down with some delicious Kentucky Bourbon. Oh wait, you guys are in elementary school. May I humbly suggest an Ale-8 (Kentucky's other delicious beverage)

Children. Besides being known for booze, horses and handsome actors that are old enough to be your grandfather...we also have a sport called "Basketball." There are two certain teams in Kentucky and they like to pretend that the other one doesn't exist. That is....until they play each other. And then everyone hates each other and the team that loses pouts about waiting until "next season" and the team that wins get license to be a douchecock about the game for a whole year.

We also are home to a certain fast food chain, whose creator is the only other man besides Mark Twain to rock a white suit after Labor Day. If Kentuckians controlled the vatican, a good majority would probably vote this guy into Sainthood. You think I'm joking....

But most importantly, Kentucky is home to people that I love and care about and people with whom I wish I could share my adventures. But sometimes to appreciate home, you have to leave for a little while.


Miss and love you, Kentucky. See you in May (I hope).